Earlimart - "Answers and Questions" music video from Lowell Northrop on Vimeo.
Hit sometimes with a nostalgia so intense and painful that tears well. Because there is a before and an after and there is a line, a bright red neon line slashed into a horizon in time. There is that moment. It's sunset which transforms into sunrise and each is a bright wound to the day and the night and also a strike right on through to the beyond-here. There are moments when you inhale the breath of infinity and exhale into the void, your whole being in a whisper. That's will. When you consolidate yourself to a point, density and entwined. It was a year of figuring stuff out. Why, then, nostalgia? I inhabit a very different place, but the hellscape I crossed -- that, I wished I'd not seen. Of course, nobody doesn't get to take the scenic route and I'm sure it fades. When a vision rises of the before, one that's very engulfing, the sense of not knowing is profound and feels unimaginable now. The feeling of not knowing is unbelievable. I wonder if I could be imagining that I didn't know. Maybe there was never a before. I suspect that in some way there wasn't. And this is enormity. I don't know when I knew, but I had to have. I sent the message to myself. The pool of serenity. That means a lot of things, though. Jung today: "it seemed to me I was living in an insane asylum of my own making. I went about with all these fantastic figures: centaurs, nymphs, satyrs, gods and goddesses, as though they were patients and I was analyzing them." That seems to be a feature of the insanity herein. The traffic in extraordinary which we experience in the mind of our pedestrian creature habits. Meanwhile, the most direful phantasmagoria is churned out of the vulgar absurdity at of the confluence of time and profound stupidity.
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